My Hero!

Hans is my Hero! I know I said Captain Underpants was my hero, but I meant that in the fictional sense. Hans has totally become 500% braver, stronger and sexier ever since he took the law into his own hands and brought some punk kids to justice.
Let me set the tone. We live in a fabulous student housing community. I rant and rave about it constantly because I love the comeraderie, diversity and fraternity with the people that live here. But, unfortunately there isn't a glass titanium bubble protecting our little alcove and some outsiders have snuck in and run a muck, stealing: strollers, wagons, scooters, shovels, barbecues, and bikes.
Last year, we had 5 + bikes stolen. (dirty rats). At the end of the last summer, Hans and Mazar, (a super friend, fellow PhD student, and resident from Bangladesh) citizen arrested the 10 year old crook and took him to his house. His mom swore & smacked her delinquent son and we didn't have any more "issues" with him for the rest of the year. I'm sure this incident scared the pants off of him and the -15 degree weather kept him away as well. So now with no snow, a memory lapse, no parental supervision, and a bunch of loser friends, our little shyster is up to his old shenanigans. He and his little geek squad started their rampage early this year and almost got away with Conrad's bike. Conrad (bless his heart) has got a stubborn streak in him that is stronger than fear and when the bandits tried to take his bike, Conrad stood his ground. They pushed and shoved and threatened and he still didn't give in. I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!!!!!!!! I think he would have taken a bloody nose and fought back, fortunately one of our adult neighbors came just in the nick of time and the little gaggle of geeks hit the road empty handed.
I just want to say one more time, "WAY TO GO CONRAD!!!"
Hans had enough bullying and went to Desean's house. (I'm just going to use his real name; it's getting hard to find new adjectives for robber.) He recoved a friend's scooter and noticed a super sweet Diamondback women's bike in his back yard and later saw him riding the women's bike. He went back to Desean's house the next day, saw the bike again, called a friend (whose stolen bike fit the descriptions of the bike in question), called the police and Desean's mother once again swore and smacked him; he and his band of hoodlums friends almost peed their pants with fear, after all they are only 11 years old. Hans was invigorated and I think he will continue his vigilante mission, to stop bandits from desecrating our habitat of sanctuary. Isn't Hans awesome?!? His only gripe was that it took an hour to get the whole bike recovery process finished, you know, time is money. I love my husband.