Hans & I joke that I should write a parenting book called Chaos Parenting like this blog. I am notorious for not being the perfect mother and my parenting skills are becoming legend or rather infamous.
My habits are not widely known, but I have noticed that when I am screaming at the top of my lungs people seem to be around to take notice.
Our typical Sunday routine consists of me flying solo, (Hans has a church calling before church even starts,) with 3 children to get breakfast down their throats, teeth & hair brushed, pressed and dressed for church, not to mention out the door in plenty of time to get to church punctually. This generally happens without too much of a fight, but now and again I have a doddler named Riley, who just won't be pushed, pulled or persuaded to move at MY pace. When I'm slightly stressed and running 2+ minutes late I start to FREAK OUT, just a little and my voice raises and I usually yell to him "COME ON RILEY! HURRY UP!"
Well, on one of these "freak outs" our neighbor, Brian happened to be right behind us going to church as well. While I was loudly scolding Riley for his snail like movements, I looked up to see Brian 3 steps behind us. I felt rather sheepish and out of control and apologized to him and Riley for my elevated voice and we all went on our merry way to church.
Two weeks later it was a rerun and again Riley was dragging his feet and again I yelled at him and again Brian was right behind us. I knew that he knew that my yelling was not a one time deal, I felt mortified that I could not keep my composure outside of my home. I tried to laugh it off by saying to Brian, "Now you know the truth, I yell at my children on Sundays and probably on other days of the week too." He was kind, like he always is and said that he has 4 kids and knows about Sundays, but I knew that God was trying to send me a message and Brian was his messenger.
Every month the boys have a day off from school other than holidays and weekends. My groove is completely thrown off and because the boys are not doing their regular school routine their idleness becomes the devil's playground in my home. It is all starts very innocently, the boys are playing and then it turns into wrestling and then Conrad goes from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in .25 seconds. The amateur wrestling is now a WWF smack down and either Riley starts to bleed or Amelia gets in between the two of them and she gets hurt and I lose it. And on this particular day, I lost it pretty loudly and then there was a knock at the door.
My 1st thought: "Whoever it is, they have been standing there long enough to here me rant & rave and didn't knock until after I had finished yelling."
My 2nd thought: "I know the person behind the door is of some importance like the missionaries, or one of my friends who has the patience of a saint, or someone without kids who won't understand why I can't control myself or my children and wonders why I'm having a #4 if my life is so out of control."
So I opened the door and it was the JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES bearing a message of PEACE. Oh yeah... Generally, when they come to my door, I tell them I'm happy with my church and no I don't want any of their magazines or pamphlets and that's it, but I knew that, they knew, that I knew that they had heard me yelling at me kids 30 seconds earlier and I took their Message of Peace pamphlet, thanked them and closed the door with utter humiliation.
Does that sound like a loud enough hint from God?
God knows that imposing HUMILITY works really well with me and I know what He's trying to tell me, "Plan better. Get up earlier. Keep your temper. Have more patience. Don't micro manage. & Find joy in the journey."